Ex-Inmates And People In Corrections Are Sharing The Things About Prison That Most People Don’t Know
Content warning: Discussions of murder, rape, and assault.
Recently, we featured stories from formerly incarcerated people who shared the things about prison that most people don’t realize. The responses were honest, sobering, and, at times, completely challenged the depictions we see on TV.
Group of people in a dramatic prison setting, standing with determined expressions. They wear casual prison attire, surrounded by a gritty environment
Since sharing that story, hundreds more ex-inmates and people who have worked in corrections shared their own experiences, too. From survival tactics to prison relationships, here’s what everyone had to say about life on the inside:
1.“I was incarcerated from 2020-2023 at a medical facility (though I wasn’t there for medical reasons). The saddest part is seeing all the old, sick people who have been in 20-30 years and are still waiting for their release dates. The biggest shock upon getting out is how prison kinda locks your perception of time in place.”
“It’s crazy how much life on the outside can change when you expect to walk out to the world you left. Being institutionalized is a real thing, too; I’ve met people who were afraid to leave because they had become more comfortable with their prison life than the thought of life on the outside.”
—Anonymous
2.“I had nobody on the outside, and at least I had a community and sense of belonging in prison, which I didn’t get on the outside. Isolation on the outside is almost worse.”
Two people in casual, warm clothing sit inside a vehicle, looking pensive. One person rests their head on the other’s shoulder
—Anonymous
3.“The worst thing is the boredom. The Department of Corrections should realize that if they don’t keep inmates busy with work, classes, exercise, etc., with the amount of time they are locked down (especially in county jails), all they are doing is making better criminals. Cause all you do is sit around, compare stories, and realize better ways to do crime.”
—Anonymous
4.“Many of the women I met in prison were actually there because of their partner. Some had suffered tremendous abuse and finally, in an act of self-preservation, murdered them. Some were taking the fall for crimes their partner committed. A few were actually guilty of the crime they were in for.”
“You lose all rights, including the right to respect and autonomy. It’s also isolating, even in the crowded common area. The world outside continues while the prisoner is stuck in Groundhog Day. Only one person in my family ever visited, and I cut it short because it was a shaming event. You are truly on your own inside, and programs to help folks are inconsistent.”
5.“Women who are incarcerated present differently. Most of us have endured some form of trauma, which results in self-destructive behavior. Once incarcerated, the male guards continue to traumatize females by yelling, isolating, and even sexually assaulting them.”
“There was a guard who had to do cavity checks. She would have us put our leg up on a wall and cough while she looked inside of us with the flashlight.”
6.“Not prison, but I spent 56 days in county jail and one of the comments I heard several times was other prisoners’ wish that they would just get transferred to the prison sooner rather than later. In county jail, three people were in a cell, with one on the floor. In prison, each inmate got their own cell and could purchase things for their cell, like TVs and stereos. There was actually less danger of being targeted as well, despite media portrayals. With one or two exceptions, everyone I met in jail was polite and friendly. The guards were the ones who were disrespectful and cruel.”
A person in an orange jumpsuit and handcuffs is escorted by an officer through a hallway with a visible cell in the background
7.“I turned 17 in juvenile hall. I was able to prove I was innocent, but not until a week later. I found it surprising that they were going to just give me a pap smear without consulting my parents (I asked if they knew anything about it, and they said no). They also didn’t make it seem optional. The only thing that kept them from doing it was that I had just happened to get my period earlier that day. The bathroom/showers were in a huge room with a short two-foot divider between toilets and small dividers between showers. They gave me one squeeze of soap on a piece of toilet paper to use for our whole body.”
“We had to leave our shoes and pants outside our door at night, and the lights never turned off. We went to ‘school,’ but it was a classroom where the ‘teacher’ wouldn’t acknowledge us. The food was bland, of course, and people stuck with those of the same ‘race.’ The bristles of the toothbrush they gave us would fall off so easily that you’d have to spit them out. They weren’t unnecessarily mean or anything, but unsurprisingly, they weren’t particularly nice. It was all so transactional. I’m 33 now, but I’ll never forget it.”
8.“I worked healthcare for corrections. We saw individuals break the law, hoping for a sentence in prison so they could obtain healthcare. It does happen. I worked primarily in state facilities, where we housed men aged 18-55. It was a tough experience. Lots of assaults and fights occur on a daily basis. It was young men we saw over and over with the same story.”
“‘I fell off my bunk,’ they’d say, but be beaten almost to the point of non-recognition. They’d be transferred for CT scans and a higher level of care and come back in a day or two with their jaws wired shut due to fractures, sutures, casts, you name it. Officers also contributed to the problem by not reporting and walking away. They didn’t want to do the paperwork. It was a very sad situation.”
—Anonymous
9.“Message from the other side of the coin: I was a mental health counselor in a maximum security prison in the northeast. First, many of those incarcerated didn’t think they would get caught. Denial can be used as a defense mechanism. Second, many inmates in a maximum security institution aren’t incarcerated for the first time. The term ‘been there, done that’ applies. They know the ropes and the rules. Third, getting mental health care can be seen as a sign of weakness to some other inmates. Fourth, lifers tend to be the least disruptive members of the inmate population.”
“Most want to get out of their cells, get an inmate job, and quietly do their time. Fifth, the younger inmates doing short sentences (called skid bids) sometimes have to establish themselves within the population and tend to fight more, engage in more inappropriate behavior, and get more disciplinary reports as a result. Street credibility within the inmate population is important but can be overrated. Life in prison isn’t easy for anybody, but it is ‘managed’ by most inmates who try to remain under the radar. In most cases, what you see on television does not accurately portray the daily lives of most inmates.”
—Anonymous
10.“Former corrections officer (CO). The best way to manage the pod is to talk to them. They hate being embarrassed in the pods. And word travels. How you treat them gets talked about. I tried to be respectful to everyone and avoided looking at their charges for that very reason. I didn’t want a subconscious bias to impact my ability to manage them.”
A uniformed correctional officer talks to a woman in beige prison attire in a hallway setting
“They’ll wait to start shit to avoid paperwork for you if they like you. If they hate you, you’re gonna have a long shift. The other piece is what happens once they’re released and you run into them in public. I was fortunate that no one ever sought revenge on me in public. And I’ve run into multiple former inmates when I was with my child in public. So, I must have been doing something right in there as an officer.”
—Anonymous
11.“If you treat the staff like human beings, they tend to treat you like a human being. COs were cool with me because I was cool with them. Respect goes a long way in prison.”
—Anonymous
12.“Simply put: If you don’t know, let it be. It’s best you never find out.”
—Anonymous
13.“Some, and probably most first-time inmates, just want to get through their time. A lot of inmates who are on their third or more incarceration sentencing are almost comfortable with their outcome, and they are able to do their sentence without any urgency to be released.”
—Anonymous
14.“I spent some time in and out of prison from 18-22 because of drugs (Over 30 years ago. Life is great now.). I met some guys in there that I would never want around my loved ones. I also met some very remorseful, generous, kind-hearted human beings. Many guys that screwed things up because of drugs or alcohol but who were great people once sober.”
—Anonymous
15.“You get a 3-inch pad for the bed, no pillow, food is the worst, handcuffs are miserable, and toilet paper is a hot item to have. It’s better to have money on you when you go in. And remember, you have no clue what problems the guy next to you has.”
—Anonymous
16.“I had a lot more freedom than I had expected to. As long as you’re where you’re supposed to be when it’s time for count, you can pretty much go anywhere on the grounds you want if you’re in minimum security.”
A group of people in tan prison uniforms and one in a light gray hoodie converse outside near brick buildings
“I was a little fearful for my life when I first arrived after being told by a somewhat heavyset woman that she was going to r**e me in the shower… Aside from that and the male guards coming in and pulling the curtains aside while you’re showering, it wasn’t really that bad.”
—Anonymous
17.“Until you have walked in someone’s shoes, you really have no room to judge, and even then, prison makes you realize how easy it can be to end up there, so judgment is not your responsibility. The freedoms they show on TV shows are unrealistic…you do not get to roam about freely, nor do you regularly shower without a stall separating you. The food is mediocre at best, and they do not serve fresh fruit and vegetables regularly.”
“In fact, some of the food that comes into the kitchen is labeled ‘not for human consumption.’ The decent corrections officers know that being incarcerated is your punishment, and it is not their job to make your life worse. However, rules are in place for everyone, even when ridiculous. Women at the Tennessee prison I was in were lucky to get two rolls of toilet paper a week, while the men never did without. I could write a book.”
–Anonymous
18.“It honestly depends on the type of facility that you’re in. State prisons sound like they are the worst, according to the stories I’ve heard. I was in a federal camp, so it wasn’t all bad. I mean, it’s clean and not all that uncomfortable, but it’s still prison. I was fortunate and blessed enough to get into a program that made my days go much faster and cut an entire year off my sentence. If you don’t have anything to do, then you’re screwed. Time is going to drag, and you’re going to get into trouble. There are cliques, just like anywhere else. You meet some interesting people, for sure. The first unit I was in was like a free-for-all. It was loud and crazy and full of people. The correctional officers didn’t even care about the noise or the madness. It was awful.”
Group of women in beige prison uniforms at an event, with two at the front reacting with boredom, hands on their ears
“But when I moved into a unit that was designed for the program I was in, everything changed. It was calm and quiet. It was like a college dorm sometimes. Until someone did something stupid, and we got put on lockdown or had to have our lockers and beds raided. And the seven minutes you get to take a shower is ridiculous!!! You learn your way around that, too!”
(Cont’d) “What amazed me the most was the food you could buy from the commissary. The creativity of some of these women was incredible! So, if you didn’t feel like having dinner at 4:30 p.m., you could whip something up from your locker! Dinner parties were lots of fun. Most of the women I was in with were pretty nice people. You learn the rules and who to stay away from.”
“The very worst part about prison is leaving your family behind. Thank god for phone calls, video visits, and visitation. That’s the only thing that kept me going. I’ve been home for almost seven years, and I’m still dealing with the aftermath of having to leave my teenage daughter for almost two years.”
—Anonymous
19.“I was locked up in a women’s prison. Something I can tell you that is true whether many admit it or not: a lot of women swing both ways! When no men are around, you gotta do what you gotta do. It gets mighty lonely in there. Many women had husbands and kids who would see them every week and then go back to their girlfriends in their cell block. I mean, they had full-on relationships and wifeys and all that.”
“I’m married to a man now with children of my own, but I was curious and lonely at the time (and single). I don’t regret it, but I don’t talk about it either. It’s my dirty little secret.”
—Anonymous
And lastly:
20.“I spent just over two years at a medium-security state prison…not to be confused with ‘jail,’ which is usually county level and has a mix of convicts and inmates waiting for trial. I suffer from mental health issues stemming from childhood trauma compounded by genetics. For decades, I left it either untreated or tried to treat symptoms individually (like anger management). It eventually led to my arrest and conviction, which destroyed my marriage and upended my family life. My experience in prison was certainly not what I expected.”
“Since this was a medium-security prison, there were no ultra-violent caricatures of hardened criminals. There were no prison gangs. Even those who were part of adversarial gangs ‘outside the fence’ had a nominal truce inside. During my two years, there was violence, but it was not a common occurrence. Yet you never felt safe; there was a looming threat of violence. While not necessarily directed at me, it felt like I could get dragged into something anytime.”
(Cont’d) I got to know many of the inmates during my time. I had six different bunk mates who I got to know particularly well. While most were from lower-income urban areas, it was not exclusively so. Included in the mix were suburbanites and poor, rural people. Most of us were just trying to keep our heads down and serve our time as quietly as possible. The common refrain was if you sleep 12 hours a day, you only do half the time.”
Person lying on a cot in a tank top and pants, arms behind head. Tattoo visible on arm. The setting appears minimalist and possibly institutional
“Many of the inmates were there for crimes committed while under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Another large group was associated with offenses related to selling drugs (including marijuana). A group that I didn’t expect to find but turned out to be a growing number of inmates was the elderly. People who were convicted decades ago with horrific minimum sentences are now just shuffled around from prison to prison. Inmates so institutionalized they wouldn’t have any idea how to survive outside.”
(Cont’d) “Mental health issues were rampant across the board. Whether it was drug misuse or poverty, nearly every person suffered from some form of mental illness, whether they would admit it or not. I believe that untreated mental health issues directly result in recidivism. In my time, I saw multiple people paroled and returned to prison for the same crimes. The environment in prison is not conducive to rehabilitation of mental health issues. Prison is oppressive. It’s designed that way. Removing personal agency hampers the belief that you can improve your mental well-being.”
“The oppressive nature of prison doesn’t only affect inmates but also correctional officers (COs). Most COs were impassive. Some were sadists. While I doubt they started off that way, I think the requirements of the job and environment led them to adopt these attitudes. In fact, I experienced a change in a rookie officer from sympathetic to apathetic in the course of 18 months.”
(Cont’d) “My reality in prison was to bottom out. I hit my low and knew I needed to get help. Fortunately, the prison had some very competent therapists, but I had to completely commit to it and fight to keep it. I had to file innumerable forms and petitions to keep access to the therapists. Fortunately, I was able to continue on my road to recovery.”
“After release, I further leaned into it. I know it will always be a continuing effort, but it has been successful. I think the lasting impact of being in prison was to realize and be grateful for the privileges I had and now have and to be far more empathetic. Mental health cannot be taken for granted; be aware of yourself and get help when you need it.”
—Anonymous
Have you ever been or worked within prisons? Let us know your experience in the comments or at this anonymous form.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, you can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE), which routes the caller to their nearest sexual assault service provider. You can also search for your local center here.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline is 1-800-950-6264 (NAMI) and provides information and referral services; GoodTherapy.org is an association of mental health professionals from more than 25 countries who support efforts to reduce harm in therapy.
