- I’m the breadwinner for both myself and my partner.
- I feel unfulfilled by my full-time data entry job, but I do work as a writer on the side.
- Writing helps me find meaning, but I do worry sometimes I’m overworking myself.
I live with my partner, and I’m the breadwinner in our house. At my data entry job, I punch in numbers, edit metadata records, learn new software to keep up with the ever-changing times, and grunt a word of acknowledgment when a new load of work comes my way. Each day, I carry on with more of the same.
It covers most of the household expenses, including the mortgage, utilities, property tax, and one credit card bill each month. Some may say that the pay level is adequate. For what I do, I don’t disagree. It isn’t exactly interesting, so why would it pay a more substantial wage?
It is mostly empty work, and it does nothing to fulfill me mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. Yet, I’m stuck with it because the current job market is poor, competition for similar roles is high, and due to several factors, I am the only one in our house who works full-time.
My side hustle gives me fulfillment
I have found personal fulfillment elsewhere, in my side work as a writer. This extra income has also allowed me to take on the pets’ expenses and pay off the mortgage a bit faster. I do wonder sometimes if I’m overworking myself.
The data entry job is full-time, five days a week. I also work on assignments or pitches every day, even on weekends. Every Saturday and Sunday, I wake up before my partner — aside from the cats — to get a few more hours of writing work in. Even so, the work is anything but consistent.
While sometimes I have a few assignments going at a time, there might be weeks or months when I don’t have any work at all. During those downtimes, I work on my short stories, though none have been published, yet. Writing fiction is its own kind of therapy for the grind of my bread-and-butter job, though I do get material while I’m there. While I’m in my cubicle, I often hear dialogue or get ideas about characters that I can bring into these pieces of fiction. Some days, I can get pages full of material, all for free, from that place. This is only one of the invisible perks I have found as I scrounge to make the most of a dreary situation.
Yet, I can do both and still have three-hour naps on most Saturdays and Sundays. I wake up to the friendly furry face of one of my cats giving me sandpaper kisses, usually a subtle signal to get a late afternoon snack ready. I am not where I want to be with this work arrangement, but I am on the road to somewhere interesting. Any improvement is better than standing still.
Being the breadwinner is hard work, but I’m glad I have writing
It can be a heavy feeling being the main breadwinner in our little family. Thoughts of “What if I became incapacitated? Would my partner be able to keep the boat afloat?” have frequently crossed my mind. I have gotten a few chronic work-related injuries due to this role, like tendonitis and neck pain. Learning to cope with it has brought a new understanding of my partner’s chronic pain.
Being an introvert my social needs are small, and can easily be met with infrequent online calls with family and friends, squeezed in between one job and the next.
Through writing, I have found the space to grow my inner landscape and the opportunities to talk to people I would never have had an occasion to otherwise. It also helps meet my small social needs. Also through writing, be it nonfiction or fantasy, I can take the small daily emotional stresses that my cubicle life causes and clear them out of my system. It’s a good way to experience catharsis.
Data entry drains me emotionally and physically, but writing renews me and keeps me floating through my days. Even if it takes up more of my time, it has been a lifeline to more emotional stability and inner meaning.
