Panicked Banker Called Family Asking for Help Before Disappearing in Spain. Months Later, They Learned Tragic Truth
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Grant Barr called his brother James in a “panic” and asked for help during a trip to Spain, which sent the family rushing to the airport
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As soon as the family arrived, they began searching for him, and reported him missing a day later, on Jan. 29
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After more than two months of searching, James learned his kind and dedicated brother had drowned
On a late January morning, Grant Barr called his mom to tell her how beautiful it was in the resort town he was visiting on the southern coast of Spain. He bought her a ticket to fly out from New Jersey that very same afternoon, but that was the last time his mother would hear from him again.
That same day, Barr, 36, left his uncle’s home, where he had been staying, and called his older brother James, 41, in a panic. Grant, a high-ranking banker from New York City, thought that someone was after him.
“He said, ‘James, I’m in trouble. I need help. They’re after me,’ ” James, who works in finance, tells PEOPLE. “I could hear the panic in his voice.”
James says it took “every piece” of him to stay calm. He says Grant had no prior mental health issues, but a few weeks before his trip, his brother started to have episodes of paranoia or “delusional thinking” that would last for about 10 minutes at a time.
After the call for help, James was able to get his brother on the phone again. That call lasted for about 30 seconds — and while James can’t remember exactly what his brother said, one thing was clear: he needed help. When he was unable to reach Grant again, he immediately rushed to the airport from his New Jersey home.
James Barr
The banker planned on becoming a “yacht master,” his brother says
James met his mother, father, and brother in Estepona on Jan. 28 , where they immediately began to search for Grant. Unable to find him, they reported him missing to local police the following day.
For the next month, the family searched for miles on foot, interviewed locals and reached out for help from the U.S. Department of State and FBI when they were stateside.
On Feb. 19, a man revealed that he’d found Grant’s pants and passport by a seawall in Estepona, but it wasn’t until April 4, after Grant’s remains were identified through DNA testing, that Spanish authorities told the family that his body had washed ashore the previous month. Grant’s death was ruled a drowning, according to his brother, who is still waiting to see the final report himself.
“We are in rough shape,” says James of his family. “I think we’re coming to the realization that things will never be the same.”
The U.S. Department of State and Spanish authorities, Guardia Civil and Policia Nacional, did not immediately respond to PEOPLE’s requests for comment.
James Barr
Grant was known for his adventurous spirit
The banker, who was dedicated to his job at BNY Mellon, loved sailing, according to his brother.
To celebrate their other brother Luke’s 40th birthday in May, the siblings and their dad planned on taking a trip to Croatia, sailing with Grant as captain for a week on a chartered boat. With that plan in mind, Grant flew to Spain to take a sailing course. When bad weather foiled his plans, Grant decided to visit his mother’s family instead.
Leading up to the trip, Grant was stressed with work and had just gone through a breakup with his girlfriend. Grant didn’t share many details with James, but his older brother says that he “took it really hard.”
Between the combined stress and the delusional episodes, the family hoped that getting away from New York City would help Grant “clear his mind.”
James Barr
Grant on horseback
Their hopes were shattered by the calls they received from Grant just two days after he arrived in the Costa del Sol region.
Although things seemed fine when he called his mom, he ended up calling James, as well as their dad, asking for help. Upon reaching Estepona, the family said multiple people remembered seeing Grant, including the owner of a local post office, who said she’d spoken with him around the time that he went missing.
“He was intelligent, he was speaking clearly, but he was kind of in and out of reality as well,” James remembers the woman saying of his brother. “He sat down, asked for help.” But by the time police arrived, Grant had already left.
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After Grant’s belongings were turned in, his family rushed back to Spain to begin searching again. James remembers walking up to 30 miles a day, looking for his brother while his mom and brother went “door to door.” Their father, who can’t get around as easily, went to places where they’d heard Grant had been seen. “He sat there all day long with a coffee, just waiting to see if Grant walked by,” James remembers.
After about 10 days of searching, the siblings and their mom returned to the U.S. while their dad stayed behind.
James Barr
The banker loved to sail, skydive, rock climb and race motorcycles
On April 4, their desperate search ended.
“My brother calls me and he goes, ‘Grant’s home,’ ” says James, who was relieved at first but then noticed Luke’s tone. Luke clarified, saying, “’No, he’s in heaven.’ ”
Luke flew from Indiana to New Jersey so they could tell their mom the news together. When the brothers called their dad, he was sitting in a cafe in Estepona, still looking for Grant. “He sounded upbeat and positive. It was finally a nice day,” says James. “We told him, and he of course just broke down. There’s no right way to process it.”
As the family grieves, they’re also grappling with unanswered questions. James wonders if his younger brother decided to swim and got caught up in a frigid riptide, or if he slipped on the rocks – just as James stumbled during his search for his brother along the beach.
“Nothing can fill the tremendous void Grant leaves in all of us,” says James. “We will carry him with us in everything we do and every breath we take until we finally meet again.”
Read the original article on People
