To accept or decline: Here’s how you should treat LinkedIn requests from strangers
It happens to a lot of us. A new LinkedIn connection request pops up without a note, a message, or a reason. Perhaps the person shares a few mutual connections, but they’re essentially a stranger.
Some people are willing to accept any request that comes their way. Others, however, are more guarded, and only looking to connect with people they know personally. But the question remains: should you accept or decline LinkedIn invitations from an unknown person?
As a career expert at hiring platform Indeed, Priya Rathod often gets these kinds of invitations.
“I personally get several requests where there’s no mutual connections, no note. I’m just left wondering who this person is and why they want to connect with me,” she tells Fortune.
Career experts that Fortune spoke with say there’s no blanket formula for how to treat these invitations. Instead, they emphasize that the choice is a personal one: Some people may prefer a carefully curated professional network, while others see strength in numbers. And they add that while it’s not strictly forbidden to send a LinkedIn request to a stranger, there are some important rules that aspiring networkers should keep in mind.
“A lot of people hate getting a LinkedIn connection request from a random person, because it’s a bit uncomfortable,” says Gracie Saskersian, associate dean of Columbia Business School’s Career Management Center. “On the other hand networking is about engaging with both people that you know in your personal network, as well as people who are a couple of degrees removed. And those are the folks who have proved to be the most valuable resources during a job search.”
To accept or decline?
There are two schools of thought when it comes to receiving a LinkedIn request from a stranger.
The first is that all requests are welcome. This is especially prevalent among early-career workers trying to build their professional network, and it can be tempting to accept all invites in an effort to boost numbers and reach a threshold like 500 connections. Other people may just want a larger group of connections for their posts to have a bigger impact.
“I’ll accept almost everyone,” says Tim Toterhi, CHRO advisor, author, and career coach. That includes recent graduates, colleagues or anyone who’s read his latest book—as long as the connection request comes with a brief explanation. He does try to avoid pictureless individuals or people with blank profiles as a way to weed out bots or scammers, but Toterhi says he’s willing to connect with most humans as long as there’s some level of intent behind it.
“We each have a right to decide what kind of network we are building and whether that network is meant for intimacy, influence, or impact,” says Arianny Mercedes, who previously helped lead talent management at American Express, and is now the founder of Revamped, a global career and workplace consultancy.
She adds, however, that the downside to a “more is more” approach to LinkedIn is an increasingly noisy timeline. “Every time we accept a new connection, we allow another voice into our digital field,” she says.
The second school of thought is that LinkedIn invitations should be considered carefully. That means declining or ignoring requests from strangers.
“It’s about relevance, not rejection,” says Nirit Peled-Muntz, chief people officer at HR technology company HiBob. “For me, it’s about treating people the way I’d want to be treated. That doesn’t mean accepting every request, but it does mean being thoughtful and kind where possible.”
Michael Mandel, co-founder and CEO of CompStak, a platform for commercial real estate data, recently posted his own list of criteria for rejecting LinkedIn invitations. People who promote the number of connections they have, describe themselves as “thought leaders” and “visionaries,” or frequently use the rocket ship emoji, are all disqualified.
He even noted that he wished he had an “AI agent that automatically rejects LinkedIn invitations” based on that criteria.
The right way to send a blind invitation
Reaching out a stranger on LinkedIn is possible, career experts say, and sometimes even encouraged. You just have to go about it the right way.
“Sending a connection request is really akin to walking up to someone in-person at a networking event and asking for an introduction or doing it yourself,” says Rathod. “So it is okay, but there are some very key things that you need to keep in mind.”
The main thing is to include a short, well-written missive along with the request. Career experts say it’s the number one differentiator as to whether or not they’re willing to accept a request from someone they have not actually met.
LinkedIn members are also much more likely to connect with people who have interacted with their content, according to the company’s internal data. Around 20% of users say having mutual connections is one of the most important factors in deciding who to connect with.
Andrew McCaskill, a career expert at LinkedIn with more than 30,000 followers on the platform, says he typically gets 10 direct connection requests per day, and only knows the names of one or two people. McCaskill is in a unique position in that he works for LinkedIn, but even then he says he doesn’t accept connection requests from just anyone—he’s much more likely to accept a request from someone who’s been following his work, or who he’s interacted with on the platform before. They must also share the reason they’re reaching out to him.
“If I’m looking at a line of people who are asking me for a direct connection, I’m going to look at the note first. Writing the note says that I don’t just want a connection, I’d like you to be my connection,” he tells Fortune.
Most professionals don’t have the time to “go through all the mental gymnastics” around whether or not they’ve met said person, he adds. If it takes too much effort, more often than not he leaves it for later. “Once it gets lost in that shuffle I may never return to it.”
When it comes to writing that all-important note to go along with a connection request, experts say it’s crucial to make sure it isn’t too detailed—avoid sharing a long career history. Instead, just write one or two sentences about why you’re contacting someone.
“Anything from a shared industry to similar goals or admiration for their work can make a big difference in how their request is received,” says Rathod.
This story was originally featured on Fortune.com