Decoding the Invisible Rules That Almost Derailed My 8-Figure Exit
There I was, standing outside a downtown office building, clutching a presentation I’d spent weeks perfecting. My hands were clammy. My heart was racing. In just minutes, I’d be pitching my vision for an AI-powered anthropological research platform to a roomful of executives who probably had a dozen other meetings that day.
Looking back, I realize that moment wasn’t just about landing a potential client. It was about seeking validation that my idea — and by extension, I — was worthy of taking up space in the business world.
When Rejection Becomes Redirection
I might never have been in that boardroom if not for Jay Goldman. When I first shared my vision for bringing anthropological research into corporate decision-making, Jay could have nodded politely and moved on with his day. Instead, he truly listened. He connected me with his then CEO, who then offered me the chance to pitch their board — a priceless opportunity for someone with just an idea and determination.
The meeting itself was anything but sterile. The team engaged thoughtfully, asking insightful questions and giving my presentation their genuine attention. Their feedback was measured and considered. While they ultimately decided my solution wasn’t the right fit for their current direction, they took the time to acknowledge the merit in my approach.
“Your idea has real potential,” they said. “It may not align with our focus right now, but there’s definitely something valuable here worth pursuing.”
Those words of validation, coming from seasoned executives who had no obligation to encourage me, became the foundation for what would eventually grow into MotivBase and lead to a 10x ARR exit years later.
What made the difference? Why did this moment of redirection become fuel rather than a full stop?
Here’s what I’ve come to understand after years of studying human behavior as an anthropologist and living the entrepreneurial rollercoaster: Our ideas about success aren’t really our own.
We unconsciously absorb messages about who has the right to succeed and how that success should happen. I call these “invisible rules” — unwritten codes that silently determine what paths are considered legitimate.
For me and my co-founder Jason Partridge, we had internalized the belief that legitimate startups need substantial funding, fancy offices, and institutional backing. We couldn’t even imagine bootstrapping because that path didn’t exist in our mental model of “real” entrepreneurship.
It took another pivotal conversation — this time with Harvey Carroll, who was at IPG Mediabrands at the time — to challenge that limiting belief. While we were busy explaining how we needed financial backing to launch properly, Harvey cut through our assumptions with simple clarity: “What’s stopping you from just doing this yourselves? What’s the worst that’s going to happen? You’ll lose a few months of your life. And if you don’t try, you’ll always wonder what could have been.”
It was as if someone had suddenly handed me glasses that revealed hidden writing on a wall I’d been staring at for years.
The Line Between Defeat and Discovery
This brings me to what I believe is the critical inflection point in any entrepreneurial journey: the fine line between letting rejection define you and letting it refine you.
The difference isn’t in the rejection itself. It’s in whether you can recognize that your reaction to that rejection is filtered through invisible rules you’ve unknowingly adopted.
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When someone says “This won’t work,” are they really saying it’s impossible, or just that it doesn’t fit the conventional template of success?
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When you feel unqualified, is it because you truly lack capability, or because you don’t match the profile of who’s “supposed” to succeed in your field?
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When you hesitate to start without outside backing, is it because you actually need it, or because you’ve been conditioned to believe that’s the only legitimate path?
The most profound insight from my journey wasn’t learning to bounce back from rejection — it was recognizing how many of my limitations were self-imposed because I had internalized rules created by and for a system designed to work for the 1%, not the 99% of entrepreneurs.
Breaking Rules You Didn’t Know Existed
The day after that conversation with Harvey, my co-founder and I called our lawyers to incorporate. Not because we suddenly had funding or a clear roadmap, but because we finally had permission — from ourselves — to try.
We decided to bootstrap what would eventually become MotivBase, even though it went against everything we thought was required for “legitimate” success. We chose sustainable growth over hypergrowth, focusing on building something meaningful rather than chasing vanity metrics.
It wasn’t easy. We didn’t have the safety net of venture capital. But what we gained was immeasurable: the freedom to build a business aligned with our values rather than external expectations.
Today, as I work with founders at various stages of building their businesses, I see the same patterns playing out. Brilliant entrepreneurs who doubt themselves not because they lack ability, but because they don’t fit the mold of who’s “supposed to” succeed.
My message to them is the same message I wish I’d understood earlier: The most powerful decision you’ll ever make isn’t what business to start — it’s choosing which rules to follow and which to rewrite.
When you can see the unwritten rulebook that’s been silently guiding your decisions, you can finally make conscious choices about your path forward. You can build success on your terms, not someone else’s template.
And sometimes, all it takes is one person — like Jay or Harvey was for me — who believes in you enough to help you see past those invisible boundaries. Their generosity with their time, their willingness to listen, and their honest feedback didn’t just open doors — they helped me see that rejection isn’t always about your idea’s merit, but about how it fits into a system built for a very specific type of success.
As I work on my upcoming book, “Mastering the Invisible Rulebook,” I’m constantly reminded of how these hidden dynamics shape not just individual careers but entire industries — determining who gets funded, whose ideas get green-lit, and what kinds of companies thrive.
The journey from that nervous pitch to exit wasn’t just about building a company. It was about recognizing that success isn’t a one-size-fits-all destination with a single prescribed path. It’s about having the courage to question the rules and, when necessary, write new ones.
What invisible rule have you internalized that might be limiting your vision of what’s possible? When has rejection actually redirected you toward something better aligned with your authentic path?
I’d love to hear your stories as I continue sharing mine.
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